5 Ways to Really Annoy Older Donors

Language Matters

USA, Virginia, Richmond, senior man reading letter by mailbox
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Language matters. And we, as writers of materials from fundraising letters to press releases to blog posts, can add to or prevent harmful stereotypes, whether they are racist, gender-based, or ageist.

Ageism, unfortunately, lags at this point when it comes to our sensitivity to language. Many writers simply have not educated themselves about what is ageist and what is not. The style books we all use don't have much to say about aging.

 

Most experts on aging, however, agree that there are definitely some things you should not do when writing about or for older people. Here are five things that will likely annoy the very people you should want on your side:

  1. Call them "old," "elderly," or "senior citizens."

    The whole concept of who is "old" has become very slippery. Yes, to a young child, almost any adult is old, but to the rest of us, only people who are a whole lot older than ourselves are old. Use the word "older," never "old" -- as in "older people." 

    "Elderly" should only be used as a modifier, as in "elderly patients," and only when referring to those who are truly old and frail. Do not use it as a general term for all those in later life. This is considered stigmatizing since not all older people are frail.

    Although "senior citizen" is used frequently in the media, avoid it in your nonprofit communications. The term is just plain out-of-date. To most older people, being called a senior citizen is just a euphemism for "old" and "elderly."

    "Senior" is still acceptable to many older people, but don't use "senior" to describe anyone younger than 65. There is also evidence that boomers may really dislike this term when applied to them. One prominent journalist said that this label "has probably had its moment. The word is laden with stereotypes. It conjures up dentures and discounts, decline and dysfunction ... "

  1. Refer to them as crones, curmudgeons, or geezers.

    Simply avoid words and phrases that date people or communicate unnecessary connotations, such as "of a certain age." Even talking about the "golden years" is problematic, probably because it implies an ending as in the sunset or the colors of autumn, and has been overused in referring to the retirement years.

    Older people may use words such as "geezer" and "old" to describe themselves, but a writer should do so only within the context of that person's quote.
  1. Act astounded that older people can still walk and talk.

    We can hear the gee-whiz tone of the writer who says, "Tom is 78, yet is still active as a bungee-jumping instructor." Well, perhaps that is noteworthy, but active gardener, teacher, runner, volunteer? Referring to older people in this way implies that it is rare to be active at that age, and that Tom is waning even though he has just enough strength to keep on bungee jumping. In fact, it is recommended that you not mention age at all unless it is truly relevant.

  2. Patronize or demean them.

    Writers should avoid terms such as feisty, spry, sweet, little, feeble, eccentric, senile, grandmotherly, and other similar words. Avoid cutesy terms such as "He is 80 years young." Don't use older people as the butt of a joke. Many people, who no longer find ethnic jokes acceptable, seem indifferent to the effect of jokes about older people. Older people are often accused of being humorless when they object to such jokes.
  3. Reinforce stereotypes of older people

    What do you think of when you imagine an older woman or older man? Glamorous Sophia Loren and ageless Sean Connery? Or Abe and Mona, Homer Simpson's parents?

    Older people are just as diverse as younger people. They look stylish and dowdy, are jet setters and bus riders, and they are no more often inflexible than younger people. Some are conservative, and some are, well, wild. They play tennis, do yoga, bowl, and are couch potatoes. More and more are staying at work, while others sail or golf. Many are on Facebook, while others won't touch even a mobile phone.

    Avoid lumping all older people into any category -- glamorous, active or frail. They're just people like everyone else and come in an amazing assortment of looks, styles, and abilities.

    What will happen if your organization flips off older people? Well, older donors are likely to avoid you, and, frankly, you won't be considered very up-to-date. We are careful not to stereotype race, gender, or ability. Why would we treat age any differently?

    Recommended Resources:

    American Society on Aging - Great resource on aging

    Successful Aging: What words to use, which to avoid in describing the older generation and Successful Aging: It’s hard to describe those who are getting older Helen Dennis, LA Daily News