Six Things From Ads That NEVER Happen In Real Life

How Many of These Ridiculous Advertising Scenarios Do You Recognize?

Annoyed. Getty Images

Advertising definitely exaggerates real life, often to the most ludicrous degree. We all know that sometimes, it’s so outrageous it’s supposed to be funny. It’s parody, it’s comical, it’s extreme, and it’s acceptable because of that.

No one has ever really been tempted to buy a car from the devil, sprouted wings, or ran faster than the speed of light. But, when life pretends to be real, and yet crowbars in product, brand names, and manufactured situations, it gets annoying fast.

Here are six of the worst offenders.

1: Saying Brand Names Out Loud, Repeatedly.

In real life, you say “hey, pass the ketchup.” In a commercial, it’s “Hey, pass the Heinz ketchup.” It's irritating because regular people don’t talk that way. Ever. Yes, we occasionally say a brand name, like “oh wow, that’s a nice BMW,” but that’s about it. It’s even worse on radio, when you hear people say “Hi Jean! Did you here about XYZ Brand’s amazing new supergadget?” “XYZ Brand’s supergadget?! Tell me more!” "Oh, you are going to love XYZ Brand's supergadget, it's just fabulous." You may very well hit your radio with your head, over and over, to get the pain to stop.

2: The Constant Parade of Immaculate Homes.

Look, if you want to portray real life, you have to show people living normal lives. How many of us live in showroom houses with perfectly clean kitchens, shining appliances, and pristine walls and carpets?

Especially when those houses contain kids, which as we all know are tornados that destroy everything in their path. We’re not expecting people to live in filthy holes either, but a slight dose of reality would be nice. 

3: The Food Looks Just Like The Picture.

When you go to a fast food joint, you know what you’re getting.

You will order a burger that looks like it was assembled by someone earning minimum wage in 3.5 seconds…because that’s what actually happens! In commercials, the food arrives quickly, and it is pristine…like it was just on a photo shoot for Amazing Meals Monthly. No one has summed this up better than Michael  Douglas, when he played D-Fens (his character name was never actually used) in the movie Falling Down. THIS is what we all experience on a daily basis. And it sucks. 

4: Parents Are Always Perfect.

Most of the time, real life parents do a great job. We try to be the best role models, and do what they can to give their kids a bright future. But, we’re not perfect. We mess up, we lose our tempers, we forget things. Rarely, if ever, are mornings as idilic as they are in commercials. Everyone is smiling, the world is awesome, and no one has a care in the world. Nope. This is fantasyland.

5: Showering Is an Orgasmic Experience.

How do you shower? It’s probably nothing close to how people shower in commercials. Women wear makeup, their hair is perfect before they get in, and when they do start washing their hair, it’s a joy to behold. No one has their eyes screwed up tight to avoid the stinging pain of soap.

No one is scrubbing their feet and butt crack with vigor. No one is reaching for the towel and failing. It’s a well-orchestrated, beautifully executed routine.

6: Daily Chores Are Awesome!

Well, unless they are the “before” shot you often see in ads for cleaning products. Remember, the elbow grease you had to use to scrub that bathtub. Now, with a beautiful smile on your face, and donning your best jeans and new shirt, you can effortlessly clean the bathrooms, the floors and the kids’ bedrooms with all the enthusiasm of a college guy about to date a Maxim cover girl. Hey, these products may make cleaning easier, but it’s still cleaning. And cleaning blows.