To TWIC or to Twerk, now that's a question

TWIC gets you into ports. Twerking, not so much.

TWIC or Twerk?
TWIC or Twerk?. Getty Images

To TWIC means that you're interested getting your Transportation Workers Identification Credential from the United States Transportation Security Administration (TSA).  

To Twerk means that you're interested in dancing in a provocative manner, in a low squat while thrusting your hips.   

To apply for a TWIC card, you should visit the TSA's official TWIC site and apply online.  At the site, you can also find an application center and schedule an appointment.

 Application centers can be found throughout the United States.

Twerking can also be found throughout the United States.  And also a lot of the rest of the world.  In fact, it originated decades ago in West Africa and is derived from a local "dance of the behind."  

Once you apply for a TWIC credential, the TSA will conduct a background investigation and conduct a security threat assessment to gauge whether or not you can be issued a TWIC card.

Anyone can twerk.

In order to apply for a TWIC credential, you either have to be a United States citizen, a lawful permanent resident, a naturalized citizen or an alien or other person living in the United States with a legal nonimmigrant status.  The TSA can provide up to date information on persons eligible for a TWIC credential.  Don't falsify information on your TWIC application or you may forfeit your TWIC credential eligibility.  Also, crimes such as murder, treason and espionage will disqualify you from TWIC eligibility.

Ironically, none of those crimes disqualify you from twerking.  

You can go here to get a more complete list of the crimes that you can't commit (or attempt to commit or conspire to commit) if you want a TWIC credential.

You can go here to learn how to twerk to lose weight.  Seriously.  

In April 2009, the TSA and the United States Coast Guard initiated the TWIC program and required maritime and other port and dock workers who need unescorted access to secure areas of port facilities, outer continental shelf facilities, and vessels regulated under the Maritime Transportation Security Act of 2002 to be screened and credentialed by the TSA.

In August 2013, Miley Cyrus twerked on the MTV Video Music Awards.  Within minutes, the Internet melted.

The TSA has stated that they try to respond to TWIC applicants within 30-45 days after they receive a completed application.  Applicants have reported wait times of up to 75 days.

There is almost no waiting time if you want to twerk.  All you need is a behind and a person "who just doesn't get you" to be appalled by your dancing.  A parent will do.  Also, a teacher or other school administrator.  Anyone at the VFW can also fill this role.

And, remember, this is a supply chain blog.  If you want to learn more about supplying your customers what they want, when they want it - and optimizing your profits while accomplishing that - you've come to the right place.  Yes, twerking can be used to teach about logistics.  Just like Star Wars can be used to do the same.  

This article will help you learn how to obtain a TWIC credential.

This article will help you learn out to twerk.  Video demo included.

To TWIC or to Twerk - now that's a question.