Stop Fighting About Finances

5 Tips to End Financial Fights

When you get married, the way you handle your finances will change. Hopefully you discussed your finances with your spouse before you got married, and you now have the same set of goals that you are working towards. However there are times when the two of you might not be in agreement when it comes to your finances. When you are not financially compatible, you will have to work harder to find a compromise on each subject, but you can still make it work. The amount might be large or small, but you need to work to resolve these differences quickly. These steps can help you avoid the financial problems that are caused by divorce. If there are bigger issues, like having your spouse steal your identity and take a loan out in your name with our knowledge, you may want to consider marriage counseling to help you deal with those issues. Otherwise these four steps can really help you change the way you deal with your finances.

Listen to Your Spouse

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If you are having problems with sticking to a budget or if your spouse does not see the need to budget, you need to sit down and figure out what is not working and why. Does your spouse feels like you set up the budget or that the categories are not reasonable? Did you dictate the budget and not make a team process? Sit down and have a discussion with your spouse where you simply listen to his concerns about the budget. Ask him what he thinks would be reasonable for each categories. Additionally be sure to include money that you each can spend on what you want each month that is for you to spend however you see fit. You should agree on how to deal with your parents when they ask for money.Some of these issues may be solved by looking at past spending and basing the categories off of that. 

Wait Until You Agree on Large Purchases

If you are having a difficult time deciding or agreeing on a larger purchase, this can be more difficult. It may be that one of you feels that the item is necessary now, or wants to invest in a more expensive option to save money in the long run. Until you both agree on the purchase, it should not be made. However if you are objecting ask yourself why you are objecting. Can you pay for the purchase in cash? Is it stopping you from reaching a goal? Do you just want to spend less money overall? Spend time explaining and listening to each other until you are able to resolve your differences. The same process needs to go into things like deciding on how to care for your aging parents or dealing with your children. It helps to have a clear dollar amount that you both must consult with the other before you spend it. 

Set Goals Together

If one spouse simply does not see the need to worry about the money this can be a very frustrating and difficult situation. As the spouse who worries more you may need to start by asking specific questions about the future, purchasing a house and retirement. Often if you can set goals together then it is easier to get the other spouse on board. Some people are not planners, but once they realize that the budget will help them reach their goals they are more willing to work on a budget. You can work to get your reluctant spouse on board by addressing the problem and coming up with a solution.

Explain How Important This Is to You

It is also important to tell your spouse just how important budgeting is to you. Since it may not be a priority to him, he may not understand how important it is to you. Explain how much value you put on his willingness to work on a budget. Then work together to set goals that you both can agree on. Once this happens you may be surprised at the willingness of your spouse after this point. Even if he grumbles about it, but keeps the budget it is a big improvement. Be careful not to turn discussions about the budget into nagging sessions or start throwing accusations at each other about money. 

Find a Good Accountability System

One of the key things to managing money without fighting is to be on the same page with your budget. This not only means planning your budget together, but also tracking your budget together. You may both end up spending out of the same categories on the same days and you may run into issues. One way to solve this is to use software on your phone that allows you to update your spending s you do it throughout the day. You can also switch to using cash and divide it up at the beginning of the month. It also helps for each partner to have money to spend on the things that they enjoy the most without needing to explain those purchases to the other. This may be considered splurge money, mad money or an allowance This should be equal to each other, but part of the budget.