Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?

Take our (anonymous!) survey to see if you’ve crossed the line.

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1. Have you ever lied about or hidden a purchase from your partner? (Gifts don't count!)

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2. Have you ever hidden money from your partner?

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3. Do you have any credit card or financial accounts you've hidden from your partner?

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4. Have you ever taken money out of a joint account without your partner's knowledge?

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5. Does your partner know the full amount of your debt (for example, credit card debt)?

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6. Have you ever gambled or made a high-stakes investment without your partner's knowledge?

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7. Have you ever lied to your partner about how much something cost?

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8. Have you ever lent joint money to a friend, colleague or family member without telling your partner?

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9. Have you ever used your partner's cash or credit card without their permission?

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10. Does your spouse or partner know how much you have/earn?

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Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?

You got: Light Grey

I got Light Grey. Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?
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Congratulations! It looks like you and your partner are pretty transparent about money. If you'd like to take your relationship to the next level financially, try scheduling a money talk over dinner (or wine!) about once a month. Talk about the things that you both want your money to do for you (this could look like anything from travel to philanthropy) and look out one year, five years, even 10 years. Focus on being open and honest with each other—and, most of all, listening. 

Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?

You got: Hazy Grey

I got Hazy Grey. Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?
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You're not keeping as many financial secrets as some people—but you're keeping more than many. The first question to ask yourself (and it's just between you and you, so you can be honest): Why do I feel like I need to keep some things hidden? It could be because you're resentful about something—maybe there's a power imbalance in the relationship or you're not on the same page when it comes to money and your goals. Try scheduling time to talk specifically about money with your partner. Address your specific worries, listen to the ones he or she tees up and brainstorm ways you could both be a little more open and honest. Then, talk about financial obligations coming up in the next couple of weeks or months and how you'll meet them—as well as about long-term money goals. If you can't get yourself to the table, schedule some time with an impartial third party, like a financial planner or therapist, to do it with you.

Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?

You got: Charcoal Grey

I got Charcoal Grey. Financial Shades of Grey: What Are You Hiding From Your Partner?
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We’re not going to sugarcoat it. The degree of financial dishonesty in your relationship is troubling—particularly because when couples keep these things from each other on a regular basis, it can lead to more trouble (and splits) down the road. Ask yourself why you can't talk to your partner about these things and why you feel you have to hide them. Seek help from a therapist on your own if you can't bring your issues to the fore. And then consider bringing your partner into the mix. We know that couples who save together and pay down debt together stay together. If you're in it for the long haul, it's making this investment in your relationship now.