New Year's Resolutions We Hope Advertisers Made

1
Fewer Disruptive Ads on Smart Phones

Irritated with ads
Getty Images

Unless you have AdBlock software installed on your phone, clicking on links or browsing the web can be like wading through quicksand. Actually, make that quicksand filled with mousetraps. The pop-up ads are not only irritating, they can slow down the loading of content so much, you just click away. Enough! 

2
More Relevant Social Media Posts

Social Media
Getty Images

Do you get the feeling that every major company out there is just screaming at the agencies to Tweet, post on Facebook, and create Tumblr pages? It doesn’t seem to matter what it is, or how engaging, just be part of the conversation. This has to become more sophisticated.  

3
Much Less Pre-Roll Video

Waiting For Content
Getty Images

It seems that every time you click on a video link these days, you are forced to sit through at least one 15-30 second ad, with the option to “skip it” starting to disappear. This is no surprise, with sites like YouTube and Hulu both offering ad-free versions for a premium price. By pounding us with ads, we may all feel the need to just upgrade and be done with it. But maybe we’ll see fewer of them once the advertisers catch on.  

4
More Body Diversity in All Ads

Body Diversity
Getty Images

As plus-size women become more acceptable as models, it’s about time we see more diversity across the whole spectrum. Chubby men can be heroes too, not just comic relief. Kids don’t all have to be beautiful. Women don’t have to be stunningly-good looking, even if they are plus-sized. We know advertisers are selling a fantasy, but it’s getting beyond a joke.  

5
Less Junk Mail

Junk Mail
Getty Images

There’s nothing like going to your mailbox to see it overflowing with offers from credit card companies, pizza places, and cable TV deals. 99% of this stuff goes straight in the trash, or recycling bin if you’re good when you get home. It’s a waste of time, paper, and money, and advertisers should be cognizant of this. Just like phone books, junk mail like this is dying out. But genuine direct mail campaigns, they have a chance to shine.  

6
Better Radio Ads

Covering Ears
Getty Images

Some resolutions are really difficult to keep; this is not one of them. Awful radio is everywhere, and it’s always the same. A talking head screaming a phone number or website at you a dozen times, or two “actors” having a conversation that is about as realistic as the dinosaurs in a Doug McClure movie.  

7
Less Product Placement

Product Placement
Getty Images

Yes, people in real life eat and drink real products with real logos. There’s nothing wrong with showing someone drinking a Coke, or driving a Ford. We do this. What we don’t do is mention the name of the product, like “mmmm, this sure is one tasty Subway sandwich I’m eating.” Stop this! 

8
The End of Talking Babies and Animals

Pug
Getty Images

It won’t happen, but we can hope. Talking animals were cute for about five minutes in Babe. Talking babies in “Look Who’s Talking,” for about two minutes. But having them pop up in ads everywhere is mind-numbingly patronizing. We’re not buying insurance or stocks because you have a talking baby. 

9
Better Ads for Apple

Apple Store
Getty Images

Does this one really need an explanation? Come on Apple, let’s do something like 1984 again. It doesn’t have to be in the Super Bowl or high end. But it should be ​a breakthrough.  

10
Far Less of Those Inept Husbands

Dumb Man
Getty Images

You can’t have bumbling, confused wives in ads anymore. It’s considered sexist and harkens back to a time when society really did treat women like servants, idiots, and second-class citizens. But men, especially white married men, are fair game. These idiots can barely change a light bulb. A little more realism, please?