Military Jokes and Humor

You Might be a Tanker, If. . .

1. You've ever been fined for riding with your head sticking out your car's sun roof.

2. Your wife complains because the kitchen junk drawer is full of MILES keys and heater parts.

3. You giggle when your hunting buddies talk about the awesome stopping power of the . 308 Winchester.

4. You named your son Roger.

5. You drive a '59 Caddy because you like "the feel of a lot of American iron. "

6. You announce "On the way!" before you break wind.

7. Instead of meeting you at the door with a cold beer after work, your wife meets you with a can of degreaser and orders to strip before you touch the furniture.
8. After returning from the field it takes you a while to get used to food without the "diesel smoked" flavor.

9. After sex you make your wife wipe down the breech.

10. When you go duck hunting you give your dog the command "ducks! left duck!"

11. You've ever refered to a infantryman as a crunchie.

12. When buying a new car you make the salesman lay out the BII.

13. During intercourse you announce "On the way. "

14. You refer to General Patton as Him.

15. You consider cheating on your wife Permissive TDY.

16. You refer to the Gulf War as "The big one of 91. "

17. You think of ground troops as a speed bump.

18. You think bad sex may just be a boresight problem.

19. You consider a sand table exercise as a middle east deployment.

20. You consider a hasty defense just aiming the gun.

21. When working on your car you fill out a DA 2404.

22. A pillow is nice, but a CVC is better.

23. You think 19Kilo should be 19Sweep.

24. You wish your POV had Tac Idle.

25. You get mad when NOMEX is refered to as the tanker suit.

26. You volunteer to fuel up a car.

27. You have a BBQ and invite all three of your friends.

28. You rank monster trucks between a Bradley and a M1 tank.

29. You carry a tanker bar in your POV.

30. You think hot spots are targets, not clubs.

31. You wish Suburbans weren't so expensive.

32. Before your son/daughter can use your car they must complete a request for dispatch.

33. You think PT means Persona Training.

34. You always set 4 places at the dinner table.

35. You don't buy gas for your car, instead you "top off"

36. Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".

37. Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".

38. When your family gets together you call them "Slice Elements".

39. Your dog's name is Sabot.