Joke - Old Lady Makes Big Bet With Bank President

Finance humor with a fun twist.

Little old lady with binoculars making bets with the bank president.
This joke is about a lady who made a very personal bet with the bank president. Colin Hawkins/Getty Images

I heard this joke years ago and have shared it often. Once in awhile someone finds it offensive, but I find it to be clean, fun humor. 

The little old lady who makes bets with bank presidents

A little old grey-haired lady went into the bank one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (after all, the customer is always right).

The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

President gets nervous

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"

The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did.

The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.

The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 a.m. today, I'd have the bank president's balls in my hand."

Too good to true

Of course not all jokes have to have a point, but what I like about this one is it makes the point that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. We all look for quick easy ways to make money, and if we're as gullible as the bank president and her attorney, we can get taken.

You may think you are savvy and could easily spot someone who was trying to part you from your money.

You may be right, if you were to see them in person. But today, online fraud is growing quickly and criminals are finding ways to sneak into your email, pretend to be you, and get money wired offshore. Read up on ways to protect your accounts from online fraud.

And if you are planning on heading out and making some bets on your own, best to understand how gambling impacts your tax return. You can break-even on bets, and still lose when it comes to taxes.