Humor: Put Seniors in Jail and Criminals in Nursing Homes

It's Not so Funny, Actually.

Senior in Jail
Are you likely to get better care in jail than in a nursing home?. Spencer Grant / Getty Images

The contribution below was sent in by a senior. It is a joke and not intended to be taken seriously. If you're looking for nursing home humor and you have a sense of humor read on. If you don't, click to another page - don't stay here and get offended!

So here goes...

Put Seniors in Jail, and Criminals in Nursing Homes

"The more I read this the more it makes perfectly good sense.

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks, they'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc, and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool, and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, P.J.'s and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard with gardens. Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio, and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised with lights off at 8 p.m., showers once a week, living in a tiny room, pay the assisted living costs of nearly $5000 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.

Justice for all."

-Contributed by Linda Thompson, President, Life Path Solutions, Inc.

Finding Quality Care

Of course there are many excellent nursing homes that provide outstanding care for seniors. Then, there are some that don't. Like anything in life, if you or a loved one will need a living place that provides care you will want to do your due diligence to make sure you find a location that provides quality elder care.

If you have long term care insurance, the insurance company will likely have a service which helps you locate a quality care facility. If you don't have insurance, but need help with basic activities of daily living, you can hire help on your own, or if your income and assets are low you'll want to take steps to see if you qualify for Medicaid assistance.

If you have equity in a home or other assets, another option is to locate a continuing care community which is an alternative to long term care insurance. With this option,while you are healthy you purchase a living space in a community that guarantees to provide you care should you need it in the future.

And, if all else fails, you could always find a way to get yourself in jail.