Get Fun Quotes and Puns About Grocery Stores

Barbara Farfan for About.com

Funny insights and fun quotable quotes about supermarkets and shopping in grocery stores are not interesting only to retail industry evangelists or the paper-or-plastic employees at your neighborhood grocer. Because grocery shopping is such a shared part of human experience in most modern societies, a trip to the supermarket and the grocery store experience has come to symbolize everyday life, and normalcy.

And some of the best quotations on any topic come from the "average" because so many people can relate to them.

What follows are quotable quotes about supermarkets, grocery stores, and shopping for groceries from famous people from different countries and from different walks of life. This diverse collection of quotations about supermarkets and groceries prove that the grocery humor is broadly relevant and widely shared.

Read and share these quotes about supermarkets and then click the links at the end of the article for more quotable quotations about retail stores and the retail shopping experience.

Fun and Funny Quotes About Shopping for Groceries

  • "A person buying ordinary products in a supermarket is in touch with his deepest emotions.” - John Kenneth Galbraith, Canadian-American Economist
  • "Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.” - Doug Coupland, Canadian Author and Artist
  • "Here, you go to the supermarket and you have wipes to clean your hands before shopping. No, we don't have that in France, but we recycle.” - Berenice Bejo, Argentine-French Actress
  • "I love going to my supermarket. Sounds so rock 'n' roll, eh?” - Rachel Stevens, English Singer, Actress, TV Personality
  • "I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit, getting my car washed, taking walks.” - Barack Obama, U.S. President
  • "I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me, they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.” - Wallis Simpson, American Socialite and Duchess of Windsor
  • "It's easy for Americans to forget that the food they eat doesn't magically appear on a supermarket shelf." - Christopher Dodd, American Politician
  • "Now that I know how supermarket meat is made, I regard eating it as a somewhat risky proposition. I know how those animals live and what's on their hides when they go to slaughter, so I don't buy industrial meat." - Michael Pollan, New York Times Best-selling Author
  • "Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am." - Craig Bruce
  • "With the supermarket as our temple and the singing commercial as our litany, are we likely to fire the world with an irresistible vision of America's exalted purpose and inspiring way of life?" - Adlai Stevenson, American Politician
  • "Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" - Anne Tyler, Pulitzer Prize-winning Novelist
  • "I can spend hours in a grocery store. I get so excited when I see food, I go crazy. I spend hours arranging my baskets so that everything fits in and nothing gets squashed. I'm really anal about it, actually." - Cameron Diaz, American Actress
  • "I don't think there are any footsteps to be walked in. No one else has taken things that you can buy at the grocery store and put them together. I hope that I have a career as long as Julia Child." - Sandra Lee, American TV Cook, and Author
  • "I have never written anything in one draft, not even a grocery list, although I have heard from friends that this is actually possible." - Connie Willis, Award-winning American Science Fiction Author
  • "I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day." - Seann William Scott, American Actor, and Comedian
  • "I love grocery shopping when I'm home. That's what makes me feel totally normal. I love both the idea of home as in being with my family and friends, and also the idea of exploration. I think those two are probably my great interests." - Yo-Yo Ma, Grammy Award-winning Cellist, and Composer
  • "I may be only a fish and chip shop lady, but some of these economists need to get their heads out of the textbooks and get a job in the real world. I would not even let one of them handle my grocery shopping." - Pauline Hanson, Australian Politician
  • "I thought about that the other day after I went to the grocery store and had to sign fifteen autographs before leaving. On one hand, it's just so flattering. On the other hand, sometimes it would be nice to get the bread and leave, you know?" - Clay Aiken, Singer, American Idol Runner-Up
  • "I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.’" - Steven Wright, American Comedian
  • "I've fallen back on this periodically, although I must say that getting out of the grocery business ranked right up there with getting out of the army as one of the happier experiences of my life." - David Eddings, Bestselling Epic Fantasy Author
  • "I've managed to do movies and still keep a lifestyle where I can go to ballgames, go to a grocery store like everybody else." - Chris Evans, American Actor, (Captain America: The First Avenger)
  • "It slows down grocery shopping because so many women at the store watch the show. I always end up talking to two or three people every time I go to Ralphs. It's fun." - James Denton, Actor, Desperate Housewives Star
  • "Once you've reached the point where you can pay rent, you can go to the vet and you can go to the grocery store, after that point, it's all the same. I don't have the appetite for a decadent lifestyle." - Renee Zellweger, Academy Award-winning Actress
  • "Some people meet people in the grocery store, but I get my tomatoes and I'm out." - Ryan Seacrest, Radio Personality, and American Idol Host
  • "We trust something in a grocery store and assume it's good. We don't learn about the most precious thing in life — the food we put in our body. Educate yourself!" - Paul Prudhomme, Celebrity Chef and Restauranteur
  • "West Hollywood is predominantly gay, so every man that came into the grocery store was shopping for his boyfriend." - Jeri Ryan, American Actress
  • "You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven." - Dennis Miller, American Comedian, and Actor
  • "I went back to work because someone had to pay for the groceries." - Bette Davis, American Actress
  • "I probably made a few pictures I shouldn't have done, but I have four sons and I have to pay the rent. If you have a decision to make about whether or not you can buy groceries at the market or whether or not you're going to make a bad movie, you're going to make a bad movie." - Michael Madsen, American Actor
  • "My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car." - Erma Bombeck, American Humorist, and Newspaper Columnist
  • "About eighty percent of the food on shelves of supermarkets today didn't exist 100 years ago.” - Larry McCleary, Feed Your Brain, Lose Your Belly: A Brain Surgeon Reveals the Weight-Loss Secrets of the Brain-Belly Connection
  • "The only reason I attract paparazzi at a supermarket is because I was married to the highest-paid actress in the world. Even though I'm not with her any longer, there is a certain amount of notoriety that I guess sticks beyond." - Ryan Phillippe, American Actor, (ex-husband of Reese Witherspoon
  • "Even if we give parents all the information they need and we improve school meals and build brand new supermarkets on every corner, none of that matters if when families step into a restaurant, they can't make a healthy choice.” - Michelle Obama, U.S. First Lady 
  • "The neighborhood grocery clerk asked for my picture. Does this mean I can no longer wear pajama bottoms when I grocery shop?" - Carly Rae Jepsen, Canadian Singer, and Songwriter
  • "Every time I go to the grocery store, I suppress my desire to trip kids running through the aisles." - Unknown
  • "Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom." - Unknown 
  • "Weekend planning is a prime time to apply the Deathbed Priority Test: On your deathbed, will you wish you would spend more prime weekend hours grocery shopping or walking in the woods with your kids?" - Hal Borland, American author, and Journalist
  • "I got the name Slash because I used to work in a grocery store and I was in charge of reducing prices for really big sales." - Slash, British American Musician, and Songwriter
  • "Many doctors pay their grocery bill with the money of folks who have eaten too much." - Unknown
  • "Hospitals, like airports and supermarkets, only pretend to be open nights and weekends.” - Molly Haskell, Village Voice Critic, and Author
  • "The grocery store is the great equalizer where mankind comes to grips with the facts of life like toilet tissue.” - Joseph Goldberg
  • "I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.” - Mitch Hedberg, American Stand-up Comedian
  • "If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” - Mitch Hedberg, American Stand-up Comedian
  • "This is not a game, ... Debt has become a part of who we are. It's become that spoiled child in the grocery store with their lip stuck out: 'I want it. I want it. I deserve it because I breathe air.'" - Dave Ramsey, Radio Host, Personal Finance Expert

While buying groceries is nothing but a necessary chore to many, there are many who have a fun and funny perspective about the menial task of grocery shopping. The average supermarket experience.- whether it's the best grocery customer experience or the worst grocery customer experience - is something that even famous and successful people notice and talk about.   

The point where opinions about supermarkets intersect with famous and successful people is the point where quotable grocery store quotes are born.