Financial issues can put a big strain on your relationship. As such, there are some red flags that you may want to keep a lookout for in your relationship. Read on to learn the financial warning signs that may have you rethinking your relationship.
It is also important that you never fully combine finances until you are married. There is too much risk involved. You do have some legal protections if you are going through a divorce, but it is too hard to do if you are just breaking off a long-term relationship.
Lying About Financial Situations
One of the biggest flags is having your partner lie about financial situations. This may seem inconsequential, like fudging on the amount spent on a dress or bigger like hiding the amount they make or the amount of debt that they have. Lying now sets up a precedent for later in the marriage, and it is not one that you want to have to deal with.
Bad financial situations can happen when you lie to each other about spending habits, credit cards or other situations. It is important that your partner is honest or it can really hurt your relationship.
Another issue that may be enough to rethink your relationship or how you handle your money together is addiction. This may be something like a drug or gambling addiction, but it can also be a shopping addiction.
These types of behaviors can really affect your finances, and it does not take long for them to destroy years of careful saving and hard work.
You should definitely seek counseling together and individually if you or your partner struggles with addiction.
A Yours-and-Mind Attitude
Some couples believe in splitting everything 50/50. This isn't always the best choice because it can be unfair if one spouse makes significantly more than the other, but the other person wants to divide everything exactly in half.
If this seems complicated when it is just the two of you, it will only get worse when you have children. You should definitely seek counseling and look at dividing expenses based on percentages of income versus the fifty/fifty method or perhaps even combining finances.
Controlling Through Money
Another issue that may come up is that one spouse tries to control the other one through money and allowance. This is much more common for people who have one spouse stay at home to run the house or take care of the children. It is nice to have someone take care of the financial matters, but the decisions need to be made as a team.
It can be difficult to spot this issue until you combine finances, but if it does come up, you may want to seek counseling before the situation becomes abusive or too serious. Once you are married, everything should be considered joint property and one spouse should not hang money decisions over the other.
Refusing to Plan or to Budget
It is important that both spouses be willing to work together on a budget or a plan. Some people have never budgeted or put together a plan, and only start when they get married to someone that feels budgeting and planning are important.
It's important that both partners are willing to work on a budget together, even if they've never done so before.
If your partner refuses to budget, you may need to seek counseling so that you can find a good way to communicate about your finances and to create a long-term plan together. This can make a huge difference in how successful you are at managing your money.