Don't Let Your Money Ruin Your Marriage
Getting married is a big commitment. It involves a lot of trust and work. It is wonderful to find someone that you want to spend your life with. As you prepare to get married, it is important to sit down and discuss finances. One of the leading causes of contention and divorce in a marriage is finances. It is important that you take the steps before you get married to make sure that you and your future spouse will work together. It can be frustrating if one spouse won't participate in the budgeting process, in fact, it can often end a marriage. Whether or not you are financially compatible, you can make your marriage work as long as you are both willing to communicate openly about your finances and work to make compromises on each issue. Sitting down now can help you avoid major financial mistakes in your marriage.
You need to make sure that you will work together on your finances. This means that you should sit down and openly discuss where you are currently including all of your debt and assets. Once you are married you combine these. It can be very frustrating to have one person spend money frivolously while the other one saves money constantly. You need to work together to find a happy medium. You will need to come to major decisions together, and decide how to deal with financial pressures from extended family or other tough financial decisions that may come up.
After you discuss where you each are financially you should set specific finance-related goals as a couple. This can include getting out of debt, buying a home and saving for retirement. You should be specific with a timeline and amounts because this will help you stay on track. Your goals will help you to succeed financially and retire comfortably. As you work together to achieve these goals you will find that the direction and purpose help to strengthen your marriage.
Additionally, you should plan a budget together. This will help you to work together to achieve your goals. It also sets up clear spending guidelines. When you are budgeting as a couple, it is essential that you communicate on a regular basis. At first, you may need to go over the budget every night and report your spending to each other. Once you have been budgeting for a few months, you may be able to talk about your finances just twice a week. By discussing what you have spent and keeping a running total of your budget, you will both be involved in the daily financial decisions and work together as a team. As you work at it, preparing a budget will get easier. Take the time now to great good financial habits in your marriage. An allowance for both of you can help stop money fights and give you money to spend on some of the things you want each month. Make sure you work on building your relationship even when on a tight budget, you can still afford these cheap dates. You will also need to adjust your budget when you have kids.
The wedding and honeymoon can quickly become very expensive. It is important that you set up a budget and find ways to pay cash for your wedding. This can prevent you from starting out your marriage with a lot of debt. It will also help you to look back at your wedding with happy memories instead of resentment when it comes time to pay off the bills.
Finally, when it comes to marriage and money, you should let go of the past and move forward together. If you are going to resent the student loan or credit card debt your spouse brings into the marriage, you may need to rethink getting married. When you are married you take on both the positive and negative aspects of the marriage. It is important to consider the debt and savings as ours instead of yours or mine. This will lead to a much more positive experience for both of you. You may want to talk to a marriage counselor or a church leader about these issues before you get married. Doing this can prevent you from going through a divorce and the financial problems that divorce causes. If your spouse refuses to combine finances, it may be a sign of deeper marriage issues. You should seek counseling to address the issue. You can keep your finances separate while working through those issues. Remember that you both need to reach the same decisions about lending money to your parents, how to care for them as they age or other major financial decisions.